Why We Do Not Always Report: The Emotional Toll of Sexual Violence

They ask, “Why did you not go to the police?” “Why did you not tell anyone?” “Why did you not fight back?”


As if the silence was the problem.
As if the blame belongs to the person who survived, not the one who caused the harm.

Every time a woman shares her story of assault—whether it is to a friend, a therapist, or the internet—she risks being met with doubt, shame, or even outright hostility. So often, we choose silence not because we want to, but because it feels safer than speaking. And that silence is heavy.

The Reality: Most Survivors Do Not Report

According to RAINN, more than 75 percent of sexual assaults are never reported. For women under the age of 24, that number is even higher. Reporting is not just a step toward justice—it can be a traumatic, uphill battle that survivors may not feel ready, supported, or safe enough to face.

Why do we stay silent?

Because of shame. Society often teaches women to internalize assault as their fault. We are asked, “What were you wearing?” “Were you drinking?” “Did you lead him on?” These questions dig into wounds that were never ours to begin with.

Because of fear of not being believed. When we say “I was assaulted,” too often the response is “Are you sure?” or “But he is such a nice guy.”

Because of trauma. Reporting means reliving the worst moment of your life. Explaining yourself. Getting questioned. Being examined. Being doubted. Sometimes surviving it once is all we can handle.

Because of the relationship to the person who hurt us. Many survivors know their attacker. It could be a partner, a friend, a coworker, or a classmate. Reporting them might mean losing your job, your housing, your education, or your community.

Because of the justice system. Even when someone does report, only about one percent of rapists are convicted and sent to prison. That alone can be enough to make someone wonder, what is the point?

What Happens After

Sexual violence changes how we see the world. It changes how we trust, how we walk down the street, how we sit in a room with someone, how we go to sleep. Survivors often carry anxiety and hyper awareness, flashbacks, insomnia, guilt, self-blame, and fear that they will not be believed if they ever speak again.

Some survivors speak out. Some never do. Some try to push it down and move on. Some build their whole lives around healing. All of them are valid. All of them are strong.

The Better Question

So instead of asking, “Why did she not report?” we should ask, “What made her feel like she could not?”
And more importantly, “How do we make her feel safe again?”

At Amulet SafeTech, we do not believe women should have to prove they are in danger before they are allowed to protect themselves. Our technology exists because your instincts matter. Your fear is valid. And you deserve tools that help you reclaim your power.

We cannot stop all harm. But we can help you feel ready. We can give you something to reach for when your voice is shaking, when your heart is racing, when you just want to get home safe.

To every survivor

You are not alone.
You are not broken.
You are not to blame.
We see you.
We believe you.
And we will keep building for you.

- Amulet SafeTech